I have been busy for the past weeks.. I think I’ll still be busy in the coming week.. need to pack and all.. well, I am looking forward to go back to SG but I’m not looking forward to leave BH behind 🙁 I think I’m gonna miss him badly especially when I see our new home, it was supposed to be our dream home.. I mean.. we planned our life in SG BUT with God’s blessing, BH is relocated here.. I still believe God have a beatiful plan for us.. maybe it’s just unfolding slowly , not how I envisioned it to be
While I look forward to the reno, did research and get excited to seek BH’s opinion, BH is reluctant and somewhat reserved to talk about it. We hardly have any disagreements.. BUT the topic of our home in SG just stirs up a whole lot of bad emotions – we always end up being upset with each other. THIS doesn’t happen when we plan our wedding.. Then I know.. BH just isn’t into our SG home anymore … ahh… it hurts because I always wanted a home to call our home.. not with anyone else but with him
Facebook is evil..it gives you insights into other pple’s lives… and that’s when u realised that how this and that person is married.. having their 1st or even 2nd child… how she/he is preparing for their new home together… that’s when I realised that though I’m married, I AM NOT SETTLED – He’s here and I NEED to be there. No, we are not talking about having kids.. but the very thought of having a dog is difficult too.. I don’t regret coming here.. I don’t regret getting married… Just regretted how I signed my life away
So, just like the GE. I wanna mk my presence felt. I have been trying to be a 101% good wife. I want to be a valuable asset, not a liability. I hope that he’ll just think of me fondly when I’m gone.
oh well… till then… next entry? maybe when i’m in SG.. I wanna blog happy thoughts…