you know what I dislike about blogging? it’s the title I need to enter for every entry I wanna type. As the thoughts flood my puny brain, I feel so disturbed that all these thoughts need a title?? geez… and so i decided that I shld just leave it blank

It was a horrible week for me. No amt of tears or words can sum up the fear, anger and disapointment I have in my heart 🙁 I’m still not sure if the matter is settled. Just thinking about it, mks me scared.

I thought I was going to spend my whole weekend being worried and unhappy but Sam called and invited us to their new home! 🙂 It’s nice to be remembered… and I haven’t seen Sam for the longest time!!! Their new house is awesome! and it mks me wonder when would it be our turn? haha… wishful thinking on my part… you know.. i really always wanted to have my own place and then u say… ” There! U have your flat right?” what’s the pt of having it only by name? and Bh would say… “We’ll get there .. be patient..” I think I shld believe him.. it will mk me happier. Anyhow, we had a good time making new friends… chit-chatting and catching up… glad that we went .. it was more fun than worrying..Looking forward to the next meet up!

I realised that other wives here have really GOOD talents and skills even though they are not working. On the other hand, I am good at nothing 🙁 Sam’s good at make-up, she’s doing it as her sideline. The other lady is good at cake decorating! wow! I can’t think of something i’m good at… I’m embarassed… then Bh consoles me by saying that I’m good at cooking.. talking to pple… blah blah… these are all bullsh*t. I need a skill… and that skill is teaching?? i guess… maybe I shld just go home…

Then I see how other wives address their hubby as ‘Hun..’ or ‘Dear..’ even though they are married for as long as we are… wah… they must really love each other… I looked at Bh and guess what I addressed him? haha.. I used to call him his name but… as time goes one… I just call him other names like “F*cked up, come home early ah!” He calls me ‘A’ … how unromantic! I think BH has became my friend! 🙁

woke up this morning… and i felt so ready to leave everything behind here ( including BH) and go home… I want to feel like this and I need to feel like this.. yes, I think i’m not in a marriage anymore.. This is what you call ‘Domestic Partnership’