Tough year! Who would have thought that we would be in a pandemic for the most part of the year.
The year started bright and cheerful. My mum was here to help me for the first week of 2020. All was good. Meghan was happy in school. My boss was okay with me working part time. I was happy to finally get some rest and ‘me’ time since Meghan was in full-time school. Then, one fine day.. COVID-19 happened and changed all my plans.
I clearly remember the week when the number of kids in daycare were greatly reduced. I was scared too. I pulled Meghan out of school. I really do not know if it was harder for me or for her. The mom guilt lingers. I really just wanted her to be safe and our family to be healthy. Poor girl, she asked about her friends and teachers. I told her that there is a virus – she seemed to understand. Still, it breaks my heart when she tells me ” Mama I am sad because I am alone. ” If I knew that day was the last time she was going to be in school for a while, I would have just let her play in the playground for a little longer…I am sorry, Meghan. The 2nd year of your life is ruined by a pandemic.
2020 was a lot of pressure, stress and anxiety. I struggled everyday. I wonder how other women do it. Nobody seem to talk about how they struggle. They continue to have kids, work blah blah and here’s me… wondering how can I escape from all of these. I am so ‘weak’ compared to other women.
I hope 2021 will be better. It got to be. This can’t be forever right?